Gender Stereotypes Hurt Everyone

Boys Don’t Cry 3D type animation by Noah Camp

We all live under the patriarchy, which is a rigid dichotomy of gender roles. Men are expected to be strong and feel unemotional, logical, and confident. Women are supposed to be expressive, nurturing, and submissive. The patriarchy is held up not just by men who have the most to gain from the system, but by everyone else too. It is so pervasive. It is the water, and we are the fish swimming in it. The water is toxic, and we are all drowning. 

We all have “masculine” and “feminine” traits within us. To adhere to the patriarchy, we have to split ourselves in half and leave a part of us behind. I am a transgender man, and I didn’t start to really question how prevalent and harmful gender stereotypes were until I questioned my own gender. While beginning to medically transition with testosterone, I felt more pressure than ever to adhere to unrealistic masculine expectations. The “rules” state that men aren’t supposed to cry, so I was ashamed to let the tears out. Because “pink is for girls” I would try to avoid pink in my art. I also felt torn about using a certain style of calligraphy because it was associated mostly with women. It took a long time and support from open-minded friends to realize how limiting and shaming these rules are. 

Looking back, I see how the patriarchy raised me.

My mother would scold me for burping, saying it was “unladylike,” when all my brothers could freely let go of their indigestion however they wanted. I was taught that my period was shameful, so I hid it from my brothers like a deep dark dirty secret. When my mother thought I might be a lesbian, she said I was “beautiful enough to choose to be straight.”  Even though she was trapped under its rule, she was keeping the patriarchy strong by passing its values and shaming beliefs right on to me. 

It has taken a lot of catching insidious thoughts and questioning the rules to start to find my true whole self. I have started to embrace crying at commercials and talking about all the feels.  Sensitivity, empathy, and vulnerability are at the core of my being, and I almost denied them. Pinks and purples are some of my favorite colors to use in my art now. I make whatever art I feel like without fear of how feminine or masculine it seems to others. To defy the patriarchy is to get closer to your whole being.

Let’s defy gender stereotypes together!

Take this idea further: Design or letter a piece that questions gender stereotypes. You can turn a problematic saying on its head like the following examples:

Boys will be boys
→ Boys will be boys held accountable

Boys don’t cry
→ Boys cry too

A woman’s place is in the kitchen
→ A woman’s Everyone’s place is in the kitchen

You run like a girl
→ I run like a girl. Try to keep up

Or come up with a feminist piece of your own. 

Tag me @noahcampdesign on Instagram for feedback and a chance to get featured in my stories.